I am meeting new people and learning a lot about the type of people I want to have in my life. It’s not surprising that I am meeting individuals who are extremely career driven, as stepping out into the world on my own is my most recent big step. They are showing me everything I should strive for, and also aspects I do not wish to include. I have made some really great friends, had all of the banter and even a little romance. It just so happens that these people live all over the world. From America to Scotland and Ireland. Saying goodbye has not been easy. Now that everything has calmed down, I feel myself quite lonely.
To let the good into your life, you must first let go of the negative. My social circle has been getting smaller and smaller because it is very important to me to have mutual respect, trust and reliability in all my friendships. This is also why I have been single for three years, and haven’t dated at all this year. Meeting new friends and having a little romance, showed me how much I have been missing these connections in my life. Right now I am focusing on being grateful for the experiences I had, rather that wallowing that those people are no longer by my side.
What the last month has taught me.
1. Friendships that are about giving and expecting nothing in return.
Have you ever had a friend who is always taking things from you, but never getting you anything in return? Even little things such as you always being the one paying for tea when you two meet up. Or a friend who counts every cent. If you owed them €1.05 you’d better have the 5c!. Then there are friends who buy things for you without asking. Can of monster here, bunch of flowers there. They pop up randomly with little gifts to make you smile. They give in order to see you happy, not wanting anything in return. Well I am a giver. I like to see my friends smile. I have surrounded myself with a mix of the above, but lately I’ve been surrounded by only givers. It’s really nice to have people give back. Money is not the most important thing in life. To be a giver you do not have to be rich. People are who they are at the end of the day, and I am not here to change any body. I am responsible for my own happiness though, so it is wise for me to observe others and choose what /who I let into my life. Define friendship in your own standards and don’t accept anything less. Remember be the friend you wish to have. x
2. Attraction and energy go hand in hand.
We can be attracted to someone but their personality can be so completely different to ours that the magic quickly fizzles out. We could find someone who is the worlds greatest person, but without attraction it would only be doomed to fail. Finding that balance of butterflies but calmness as you two have the same energy that allows you to be friends ((but kissing friends) is key to having a relationship that can stand the test of time. Being single the last three years has been great. I used to jump from one relationship to the next because I hated being alone, not because I was genuinely in love with the person I was with. I’ve learned to love myself. Create healthy boundaries and become a better person for someone to have in their life one day. For a long time I felt like I would never meet someone. I kept finding wonderful guys who made the best friends, but I wasn’t attracted to them. Or guys I was attracted too, but their personality was so different to mine, I knew I could never be with them. We’d kill each other. Then I met this guy who was both attractive with a wonderful energy and we clicked straight away. Even though he had to leave Ireland and go back home, he showed me not to give up on finding the right person. Life is all about your perspective.
3. Being professional and working hard is excellent, but stand up for yourself.
I’ve been watching several people work and the one thing they all have in common is 100% belief in themselves. Polite, accommodating and respectful to the people they work with but when decisions have to be made, they stick to their own guns. They run the business in their vision and do not let outsiders shake their confidence. It was inspiring to watch. If you want to be successful at anything in life, you first need to completely believe in yourself and that the decisions you make will be the best for you, or at the very least they will teach you what you need to learn. The only person you can control is yourself. Walk to the beat of your own drum.
Life is wonderful and full of opportunities to grow. I love seeing other people succeed and being happy. I am very grateful for all the amazing people I am meeting. Bring on the next Adventure 🙂
Until next time.
Love and happiness to you all xxx