Most people want to help their friends any way they can. Some people like myself are Mother Hens and we want to protect those we care for. The thing is, that isn’t always possible. Hindsight (the understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed) can be a funny old thing. It helps us to not make the same mistakes over and over but the only way we learn is by making that mistake in the first place and dragging ourselves out the other side.
When we have been through something traumatic such as bullying, an eating disorder, an abusive parent or partner and we finally learn to stand up for ourselves, for our happiness and to reclaim our power back, this makes us unstoppable. Never again will we allow another person to treat us poorly or take away our happiness / self-esteem. To me it was the most heart breaking but beautiful experience. I went from self-hatred to self-love but I had to hit that rock bottom to get to this wonderful high today.
When you have been through something, you can see all the red flags when a loved one is experiencing it for themselves. Hindsight makes you want to tell them what to do. To fix the problem for them so they do not have to go through what you have. You care so much that you want to prevent them experiencing that pain. Only you can’t help them. They do not understand, and they wont until they go through it themselves. It is a necessary pain they need to handle in their own way in order for them to grow into the person they are destined to be. You have to sit back and do nothing. Let them know you will always be there for them if they need you, but you have to let them come to you. It is by far the most unnatural thing I’m currently learning to do. I write these blogs, I qualified as a personal trainer and life coach all to be there for people. People who are strangers and now I need to leave a friend alone. It SUuuuucks!! (for lack of a better word).
I want to say to you all, I love you and I will always be here if you need someone to talk to. Take care of yourself.
Love Roxy xxx